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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?