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When the story surfaced that a prominent couple had been killed and their son, Nick Reiner, was a person of interest, it thrust substance use disorder back into the public spotlight. However, parents affected by a loved one’s substance use fear the dialogue will focus on an extremely uncommon act of violence rather than the more widespread risks of the disease.

A Familiar Pain

Ron Grover and his wife, Darlene, have been closely following the news. They were merely familiar with the Reiners professionally, yet they identify deeply: their own son also developed a dependency at 15 to painkillers and later heroin, similar to Nick Reiner, and spent years cycling through rehab and jail. After seven excruciating years, their son achieved sobriety in July 2010.

“It’s just devastating,” states Grover. “It rips your heart out, because that’s a family torn apart, just like so many other families we know whose sons or daughters didn’t survive the disease of addiction.”

Understanding the Epidemic

More than two-thirds of Americans report their lives have been impacted by addiction—whether through their own use, a relative’s addiction, housing instability from addiction, or an drug-related emergency leading to medical care or loss, according to recent data.

Approximately 16.8% of Americans, or tens of millions of people, had a drug or alcohol addiction in 2024.

“This can happen to anyone, no matter how wealthy you are, no matter how poor you are, no matter how powerful you are,” emphasized Grover.

Fear of Stigma

The Reiner story struck a chord with Greg, who leads a parent organization. “We talk a lot about how it’s a family disease,” Greg said. “It has a tremendous impact on others’ lives.”

However, he is worried that the murders will make people “very wary of anybody who’s admitted to having an addiction, and think that they could become dangerous at any point in time. And that’s simply inaccurate,” Greg noted.

These “are really important conversations to have, since addiction is so prevalent in the United States and the rates have continually increased,” stated an associate professor who studies addiction and criminal justice. She pointed to the significant stigma surrounding addiction and mental health in the U.S., including the “perception of someone being really dangerous and the potential for harming others.”

She also advised against jumping to conclusions about the reported involvement of the son or his condition at the time, noting it is not known whether drugs or mental health issues were recent factors.

“I’m afraid that people are going to take their biased views of addiction and substance use disorder, and create a narrative to try to make sense of what happened,” she said. “Because of his history, the first thing that everyone is talking about is his addiction.”

Separating Myth from Fact

While addiction can lead to unpredictable behavior, and some substances may increase aggression, a brutal act like a murder of two people is exceptionally rare.

“The huge majority of people with addiction or this illness do not ever show anything remotely close to violent behavior. It’s a real rarity,” the expert explained. “The actual reality is a person is far more probable to harm themselves than anyone else.”

The Constant Anxiety

Both Greg and Grover have lived with fear—not directed at their sons, but for them.

“I’m afraid he’s going to die at some point,” Greg said. “If he relapses, it’s eventually going to claim his life. That’s my greatest terror. And my other fear is just being estranged from him.” He described the agonizing decisions parents face, such as setting boundaries and sometimes making the “excruciating” choice that an adult child cannot live at home.

“Our fear then was, every single night you laid your head down, that you could get that call or that knock on the door telling you that he was gone forever,” said Grover. Those fears are present “every single day, every day of the year, for a parent.”

He recounted the harrowing calls: from the hospital saying a son was unconscious; from prison, where a parent might rationalize behavior by thinking, “ ‘Well, at least he shoplifted to support his habit; at least he wasn’t burglarizing the neighbors’ houses.’”

Isolation and Judgment

Parents often battle loneliness—wondering if the addiction stemmed from some mistake they made; feeling responsible for a child’s actions; and dreading judgment from others directed at both parent and child.

It is extremely challenging to understand a family’s ordeal without experiencing it personally, Greg noted. “With addiction, it can change on the spot. You could be perfectly happy one day and in despair the next... It’s not uncommon for that to happen.”

Hope and Recovery

Data indicates about 75% of people with addiction are able to achieve recovery.

“Just as you can recover from any other type of illness, you can overcome this disease, too. You can recover and be successful,” said Grover. “If you try and you stumble, you get up and work at it some more.”

Today, his son is a husband and a father, holds a university education, and works as a skilled tradesperson. Grover reflected on his struggle to “save” his son, realizing it could not be forced.

“I can drag him into recovery if I want to, but if he doesn’t reach for my hand for help, it’s not going to work,” he said.

Yet, they always told him they loved him and believed in him.

“I tell any parent or anybody else that’s supporting someone struggling with drugs: make sure your hand is always, always extended, because you never know when they’ll reach out and accept help.”